I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize