that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
