i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
