I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
