Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
