dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
