make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
