The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
