the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
