I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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