I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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