dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
