Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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