It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
