She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
