He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize