Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
