This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
