did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize