Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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