I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
