It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
