she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
