omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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