how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
