i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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