Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it because I queefed?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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