you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize