I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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