Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
