singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
