Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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