i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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