just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
