and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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