Rock
Scissors
Fuck
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
