Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
