I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
