god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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