fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
