We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
