So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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