I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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