I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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