is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize