The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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