he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Alive.
So much puke
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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