At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
