So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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