I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
