i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
