I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
And then he peed in my hair
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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