Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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