I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
