You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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